Coping with Grief

The following guides you through the many stages of grief to help you understand how healing eventually occurs when grieving the loss of a loved one.

We ask that you read the following, not for preparation, rather to understand the grieving process and, if you are faced with the death of a loved one, how you will need to work through it to re-adjust to life.

It is a vital part of your recovery process to openly mourn the death of a loved one. You need to allow yourself time to mourn and grieve.

Grief is not a feeling of constant depression but is instead a combination of outbursts of anger, sadness, guilt, depression, denial, fear, panic and loneliness. These, although bewildering, are common and natural ways for you to find relief and release.

The following are generally identifiable stages of grief, but many not be experienced in any particular order.

Indeed, some may come and go over time.

  1. Shock
    When you first learn that someone you love has died, your immediate reaction is one of shock. You are stunned and often disbelieving, especially if the death is sudden or unexpected. This is a natural reaction because you are not ready to accept their death.
  2. Emotional Release
    Letting go of your emotions and expressing your feelings aids the healing process and is a big step in the right direction towards readjustment. It is normal for you to want to cry, shout, be angry, reminisce and share memories.
  3. Depression
    In releasing your emotions you can become depressed and experience overwhelming feelings of loneliness. You may even become disinterested in what is happening around you.
  4. Isolation
    Remembering the past you shared with your loved one is another natural part of your grieving process. It is when all the good times you shared with the deceased become a constant thought.
    Although it may seem to hurt more it can bring you some relief to share your memories and feelings with others.
  5. Guilt
    You may even blame yourself for their death. "If only I'd been there" or "If only I hadn't let him/her go there" are thoughts that constantly cross your mind. Although these feelings are normal you shouldn't feel responsible for something that is out of your control.
  6. Hostility
    It is normal for you to experience anger and aggression when working through the grieving process. It is important that you do not bottle up your anger, but rather talk to someone you can trust and feel comfortable with in discussing the death.
  7. Physical Demands
    You may experience certain physical symptoms during the course of your grieving. Your body may ache with tension which could lead to sleeplessness, headaches, low-energy, poor appetite and so on. It is important for your health and well-being to take time to look after yourself. Make sure you eat properly, exercise regularly, try to get a normal night's sleep and visit your doctor for a check-up.
  8. Signs of Recovery
    It takes time to work through the grieving process but eventually you will start to feel better and ready to get on with your life again. The length of time it takes to work through the grieving process varies from person to person.

We cannot tell you the right or wrong way to grieve but rather we can help you to understand certain feelings you may experience. Grieving is a highly personal process and one that must be worked through, step-by-step, with the help of family and friends or counselling/support groups.

 

Grief Support Groups

  • Blue Care
    Meeting your individual needs through community care and supported living options
  • Centre for Grief Education
    Counselling, support, information and links for people experiencing grief or loss.
  • Grief Link
    Australian site providing coping with and overcoming grief information, support organisations and printed resources. Topics include: loss of relatives, grief reactions to various death causes, grief experienced by different groups of people.
  • Queensland Health
  • Grief & Loss Link